The Black Donnellys

Regarding “The Black Donnellys,” NBC’s replacement for “Studio 360” that premiered on the telvision machine last evening, I would like to plagiarize from the recovering Roger Ebert.

I hated “The Black Donnellys.” Hated hated hated hated hated “The Black Donnellys.” Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it.

Now, for my own words: Too much exposition. Too dark. Too somber. No, and I mean no, humor. In fact, this show is anti-humor. As in, if you placed “The Black Donnellys” into the same place with humor, the universe would cease to exist. I don’t like any of the characters. To draw the inevitable comparison: “Los Sopranos” works because not only does it show you what murdering psychopaths the guys are, it also shows you that they’re feeble, flawed, and damned funny to watch. It works because you find yourself torn because, while Tony Soprano is capable of and thinks nothing of killing with his bare hands, he also requires therapy and has a soft spot for animals. These chaps in “Donnellys” are nothing but dull, scrappy, one-dimensional hooligans, all of them. This show sucks. It sucks on its own merits but especially sucks because it replaced a much better though by no means great program. But replacing “Studio 60” with “Donnellys” is like replacing a plate of graham crackers with an enema administered by Mike Tyson. Nice move, peacock.

a new quote from ol' buck

You’ll figure it out, just like we all will. Or we won’t and we’ll do that instead.

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A Small Detail For Studio 60 Watchers

You can rearrange the letters in “Matt Albie” to spell “Tim Batale.”

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Note To Self & The Music Special

There’s a Hey Now that comes around in the 5 p.m. hour on H100.

On a less cryptic but related note: If you are a Howard fan who’s procrastinated getting your subscription, today’s the day, pal. Starting 3 p.m. Friday, the Howard 100 will broadcast an 18-hour music special showcasing the many musical performances through the life of the Howard Stern Show.

I’m convinced that these performances are some of the most rare, most exciting musical performances ever offered. If you’ve not heard JT’s performance of “Carolina” for the Show or Aerosmith’s “Pink” or Cyndi Lauper’s “True Colors” or Joe Walsh doing anything, you gotta hear it. Among Stern’s gifts is his powerful talent for inspiring artists. Dave Grohl, for instance, didn’t even think performing “My Hero” live and acoustic was a good idea, but then he walked in and banged it, and it was one of the most compelling performances ever. I think the artists want to please the KOAM, and I think they realize what a big stage they’re on when they play the Stern Show. I also think they thrive in the creative aura that’s offered in the studio.

I, for one, can’t wait. Bababooey to ya’ll.

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Everyone Should Try It

It’s a little liberating and very rude to call some man in a suit, tie, and beige over-raincoat a “dickhead” when you know he’s still in earshot. But if you can learn how to tie a tie, you can learn how to allow a the people behind you on an elevator off of the elevator when their floor comes before yours and they’ve said “excuse me.”

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Boobie Cancer Group Refuses Donation From Boobies

I didn’t know they had that superstition up in Canadia, too.

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Exotic dancers’ ‘stigma’ too much for charity
The Breast Cancer Society of Canada has rejected the offer of thousands of dollars from a fundraising group of exotic dancers in Vancouver.

Exotic Dancers for Cancer holds an annual charity event in memory of a former dancer who lost her life to the disease.

Last year, the event raised $6,000.

However, former dancer Trina Ricketts said the society sent her an e-mail declining the money this year, because its major donors did not support a connection to exotic dancers.

She says the society has taken the group’s contributions in the past.

“I really feel that it’s a strong indication of the degree of the stigma that exotic dancers experience when an organization doesn’t even want to be associated with them for fear of experiencing the same stigma.”

Ricketts said her group is still looking for a cancer charity that will accept a donation.

The annual event will be held next month at a downtown hotel.

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