Red Sparrow

~ Gloomy landscape shots!
~ Joe Thiseman level leg-breaking shot!
~ Brutal beating of two people who are banging in a schvitz!
~ See Jennifer Lawrence offer her goodies to a dude! Also boobies!
~ Bloody torture scene! Creative use of skin grafting scraper thingie.
~ Lots of gratuitious banging and rape! Also murders!
~ Is that the dude from The Simpsons? No, it’s Jeremy Irons. ::sadtrombone::
~ See Mary Louise-Parker get hit by a bus!
~ Russia is gloomy!

One thought on “Red Sparrow

  1. This is truly hilarious! The New Yorker has a funny guy critic… so why not ALSO have a funny guy MOVIE CRITIC?!!!!!!

    (I’m probably gonna have to watch this movie now….)

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