I have recently decided that it’s time I grew up and learned how to cook a decent pot roast. So I got me a nice roasting meat, 1.5 pounds of shoulder something something. And today was d-day. I used this recipe I found on the Internet (below). I started it in the Crock at about 2 p.m. I threw in the carrots, onions, celery, and potatoes at about 7 p.m. I sat down to eat at 10 p.m.

My gods. I can make pot roast. Not that that’s any big thing. But it was perfect. Cuttable with the side of your fork. Damn. Fucking damn. And it wasn’t all just water in there. I threw in some broth after a few hours just for good measure. And some garlic.

Food coma.

Ingredients
1 beef roast, any kind
1 (1 1/4 ounce) package dried brown gravy mix
1 (1 1/4 ounce) package dried Italian salad dressing mix
1 (1 1/4 ounce) package dried ranch dressing mix
1/2 cup water
Directions
1Place beef roast in crock pot.
2Mix the dried mixes together in a bowl and sprinkle over the roast.
3Pour the water around the roast.
4Cook on low for 7-9 hours.