“Little Red Corvette
This song is not actually about a car
Little Red Corvette
This song is about sexual intercourse really”
Am trying to shop more these days at the Aldi store.
Took a leap of faith today and purchased a roast from there, and it resides currently in my slow cooker with a stick of butter, one envelope of ranch dressing mix, five pepperocinis, and one envelope of gravy mix. Easiest recipe in the known universe.
Now Aldi is over on State Street. I drove over and had to take a bit of a detour because Rochester Police had taped off an entire block. I assumed they were investigating a murder.
Oh well. What can I tell you about a shopping trip that cost me $60? And that included a roast. Did I mention the roast? Smells good in here.
So I thought I’d talk a little bit about speeches.
Before I was sent out the door with my box at a previous job, I’ve seen some of these speeches they give. I’ve seen Condoleezza Rice speak. Al Franken. Bill Bradley. Bill Clinton. One of them astronauts. The Capital Gang. Freddy Mercury. Just kidding.
And what I can tell yinz about those speeches is that they’re rather unremarkable. Their purpose is to put butts in seats. They are not particularly informative nor educational. Most of them are canned speeches the person tells at dozens of events all over the country.
Except for Bill Clinton. When he speaks, they turn off the teleprompter.
For the most part, though, these speeches are pablum. They are crafted to fill up an hour so that the event’s attendees can say they saw so-and-so at the whatsit convention or meeting. So they can, for example, say they shook Bill Clinton’s hand. Wait. That’s my story.
My point: Those of you who are losing CTRL over your bowels because you are dying to see the transcripts of Hillary Clinton’s speeches to various groups are going to be incredibly bored. There will be nothing there. I rush to mention that these speeches are not part of the public record and that the Secretary may have no legal claim to actually release these transcripts, of course.
Besides, here’s my real problem with the “speech-gate” nonsense: Hillary Clinton may have spoken to Goldman Sachs, but she also spoke to my former employer, the nation’s premiere trade association for the scrap recycling industry. (You may remember it. A lady threw a shoe at her.)
Does that mean that our nation’s for-profit recyclers are in Hillary’s pocket too?
If so, why did she shift on TPP? I guarantee they would not like that.
Reckon they wasted they money, eh?
So, here’s a hint from Abelard.
I have a folder on my desktop called “Instant Trash.”
See in the olden days, I’d see a picture or a meme or something I wanted to share on the FacedBook. And I would need a place to save it first. And generally, I would save it on my desktop. Which made my desktop messy.
Now, those files go into “Instant Trash,” which I know I can delete the contents of which any time because those are files I did not mean to keep long, just long enough to put up to FacedBook. Thus: “Instant Trash.”
Desktop looks like this now.
(Background by Simple Desktops.)
You are welcome.
One day, humans will evolve to possess exoskeletons impervious to bullets. Which will leave some damned frustrated rednecks in more ways than one.
A 15-year-old Pakistani boy cut off his own hand believing he had committed blasphemy, only to be celebrated by his parents and neighbours for the act, police told AFP Friday.
Local police chief Nausher Ahmed described how an imam told a gathering at a village mosque that those who love the Prophet Mohammad always say their prayers, then asked who among the crowd had stopped praying.
Mohammad Anwar, 15, raised his hand by mistake after apparently mishearing the question.
The crowd swiftly accused him of blasphemy so he went to his house and cut off the hand he had raised, put it on a plate, and presented it to the cleric, the police chief said.
In Other News
“A thoughtful, serious argument about why single-payer isn’t the best path forward would have won Clinton more fans than this kind of obvious pandering.”
What follows is one of the finest deconstructions of Hillary Clinton’s bizarre recent attack on Bernie Sanders’ position on healthcare policy. It is a mightily clarifying piece, and you should read it.
Hillary Clinton doesn’t trust you (Vox, by Ezra Klein)
Ah, so that explains it. Thanks, Gizmodo. Why We Become Such Assholes When We’re Behind the Wheel
I’ve been sitting on this stuff a while. Here. Go see funny and interesting things on the Internet.
New blog I done found called Adequate Man sez
“After that meltdown, did the Bengals just “out-Browns” the Browns and take the throne as the “Brownsiest” team in Ohio?
No, that’s not possible. The Browns would have to win a title before the Bengals could truly usurp their THRONE OF MISERY…”
- Listen to the whole song, dummy! (Metafilter)
- Here’s a cat dressed like a monkey eating a banana. (YouTube)
- I just wanna do it all surprise! (Hilariously bad Spanish covers of the Sex Pistols) (MetaFilter)
- The West’s big lie about Mother Teresa… (Salon)
- Track of the Day: ‘Sunday Bloody Sunday’ (cover) (The Atlantic)
- The Best Facts I Learned from Books in 2015 (New Yorker)
- Compyooter defense (Aks MetaFilter)
“The only reason why we ask other people how their weekend was is so we can tell them about our own weekend.” (Chuck Pahlaniuk)
Note to self: Find “The Way” by Jill Scott MUST HAVE THAT TRACK
Bengals: Oh, hey, Steelers, how are you?
Steelers: Not good.
Bengals: How come?
Steelers: Well, see, we were beating you guys the whole game pretty much and then you guys scored and now you’re like totally gonna win the game.
Bengals: Oh, that’s terrible!
Bengals: Well, I wish there was something we could do to help you out with that.
Bengals: What? Don’t be shy. Just ask.
Steelers: Well, you could commit a flagrant foul in the last minute of the game.
Bengals: Hey! There’s an idea! Say if we…hmmm…popped one of your guys in the head after the play ended?
Steelers: Yeah! That’d be good for at least 15 yards and a first down!
Bengals: Okay! We’ll do it!
Bengals: Now what?
Steelers: It’s just that…that’s a might long ways away for a field goals, still.
Bengals: Oh, right. I see what you mean…Okay. I have an idea.
Bengals: How about after we commit the flagrant foul, four or five of us will ARGUE WITH THE REFS ABOUT THE FLAG!
Steelers: Oh, wow! You’d do that for us? Could one of you really get in the ref’s face? Maybe even a little bit of touching?
Bengals: Why not?
Steelers: Wow, that would really put us in range for a field goal! That would be great, thank you!
Bengals: No, Steelers. Thank you!