Someday I Suppose

Even TV Guide failed to mention the best “get” of Jimmy Kimmel’s “I’m F@cking Ben Affleck.”

The best, coolest get of this thing was not Ben Affleck. It was not Brad Pitt, Robin Williams, Don Cheadle, Harrison Ford, Huey Lewis and Cameron Diaz. It was not even Perry Farrell or Macy Grey, or even Meatloaf or Christopher Mintz-Plasse.

No, friends. The coolest, best, and least mentioned “get” of Kimmel’s video was: Dickey Barrett. Hands down. Cool. Awesome.

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Street Sense

Is it bad that the Street Sense hawkers offend my journalistic sensibilities? That, when trying to come up with a way to help the homeless, when trying to find a skill that even the homeless could do, someone in the room stood up and said “I know! They can be REPORTERS!”

I deal with this shit every day, some dummy on the other side of the office stands up and goes, “I know! Let’s make another newsletter!” Because, as you know, publishing a news periodical requires no actual skills and anyone can do it. That is of course until it comes to the actual execution of publishing the thing, and then I have people in my office going, why do the pictures in my pretty e-newsletter have those funny (lowercase) x-boxes in them? Why did the three-megabyte PDF I attached to those 4,000 e-mails slow down the entire Internet? What do you mean, “under way” is two words?