Rebel Eats

I was certainly skeptical.

I’m just concerned is all. I mean, it’s okay to relegate mediocre FNS finalists like Artie and Sammich Man to 2 p.m. Sundays and hope they pull an Amy Finley. But Justin Warner was not your average FNS winner. He didn’t just have viewers and voters; the kid inspired an uprising, a following. And this tidal wave occurred because viewers really enjoyed watching the man cook. So your first venture out is to do one of those shows where he has a few bucks in his pocket and goes out to find the weirdest hush puppy?

I am not unentitled to such skepticism. Food Network does have a strange way of snatching shit from the jaws of victory. I mean, they let Chef Madison compete on Chopped, become the Chopped champion, have him compete on Iron Chef America, and see all that talent and don’t even put him on the TV? Look where he is now.

And the last winners to come out of Food Network Star seem to keep getting relegated to weird half-hour milquetoast instructional programs. So I personally have been a bit fretted about how Food Network handles the broadcast chef who shall now be known here upon first reference as Mighty Mighty Justin Warner.

I’m still fretting, but if last night’s broadcast of the excellent “Rebel Eats” is any indication of how Food Network intends to utilize Mighty Mighty Justin Warner’s talents, he’s in good hands.

I was concerned that the “road glutton” genre would not allow Warner to cook. But watch him schmooze into a greasy spoon’s kitchen and convince the line to prepare deep fried duck liver with jelly sandwiches—and watch the line gobble them down and swear by them. Wake up with Warner at 4 a.m. just to witness barbecue masters stoke their initial flames. See Warner work as a scuttler on a jellyfish boat and manage in the meantime to tell a poignant story of they fisherman he’s working with, who made a bold decision to change from shrimp to “jellies” in order to appeal to a strong overseas demand.

Watch him then prepare the stuff for said fisherman, who has never actually sampled the product.

The fact is that “Rebel Eats” is the best television Food Network has produced in years. Finally, a Food Network program that slides formulaic programming out the scuttle hole. It’s clear that there’s no throwing reigns on Mighty Mighty Justin Warner, but why the hell would you want to do that for anyway? I say Food Network’s best bet with this raging new talent of theirs is to let him do whatever he wants.

Catch “Rebel Eats.” Seriously.

Superstition Ain’t the Way

Hi. I was wondering if you would like a reminder today of just how sublime a performer was one Stevland Hardaway Morris, once upon a time.


P.S. The guy playing lead guitar? This guy:

And the backup singer all the way to yer left there? This lady:

And the drummer? He’s Ollie.

In other news:

“Ayn Rand is often mistaken for a philosopher when she was actually a dominatrix.” (Sissy Boodles)

Also, she …Really, Really Hated C.S. Lewis. I for one think that this might create an uncomfortable nexus for some people.


My Name Is Peace. This Is My Hour.

The most fascinating aspect to the Supreme Court’s upcoming deliberations over the issue of “gay marriage”—and I’ll get to that nonsense in a minute—is this: How many jokes will it be possible to hear in a week containing the phrase “oral arguments?”

But seriously. These phrases, “gay marriage” and “same-sex marriage,” I want to take them out back and light them on fire. These phrases do not even approximate the real issue and they throw open the floodgates for the buffoonish “slippery slope” objections that made “man-on-dog” Rick Santorum’s middle name. Call it what it is, “marriage equality,” and objections based on polygamy and unsavory husbandry arrangements dry up and blow away. It’s just this group that wants and is being denied what the rest of youse have, and that isn’t right. The slope is now crisp and dry. On your bike.

I have a cousin I think of regarding this issue. I can’t tell you this cousin’s whole entire story as it’s not my right. Suffice it to say his parents are, how you say, “same-sex,” and in a state not nearly as enlightened as the one in which I live now. I often imagine the pallor that must exist over this cousin’s life, constant, subtle reminders that the family is somehow not at all okay on paper, that they always get the “air quotes” gesture, not to mention the perils this child actually faces because the family’s rights are simply not recognized in the same way that Jane’s and Eddie’s family’s are down the street.

That is your bottom line. Children. Not make-believe children who are one way or the other hypothetical parts of an intellectual argument. Now children. Today children. And if you’re opposed to marriage equality, I’d advise you not to cement your position until you’re prepared to explain it face-to-face to an eight-year-old with two daddies. Only then will you have subjected your argument to the proper scrutiny. And if you can come out of a room having looked into a kid’s big eyes and explained how the bedrock that sustains their entire being is somehow not legitimate and not feel a little gut-punched, well, friend, I think you should probably consider putting in for a job at the CIA.

I will say, if I were bringing this case to the SCOTUS and if I were offered the indulgence, I would offer into the record a certain feature-length film.

Namely: All Aboard: Rosie’s Family Cruise

I don’t think there’s a document available that is more informative regarding this issue. The stories therein are of families, real families like the ones I was talking about. With children and stuff. Just like you always had or needed, with the same visceral terrors and euphoric joys that go with parenting (or so I hear). No other piece of media I’ve seen better communicates that sense of normalcy that it actually is, and it shreds the living hell out of the bigoted notion that there’s something “funny” about those folks.

Now we won’t know how the Court rules until later. But I for one hope they’ll somehow miraculously come down on the side of equality rather than postponing the inevitable.

Because it is inevitable.

Or didn’t you know that?

Hat tip: Thanks for the post title, fellas.

In other news: Mark the Bagger has a fragrance. That’s interesting.

Tikkun Olam

I can’t help but wonder how many people are aware of just what a historic event occurred this week when President Barack Obama spoke in Jerusalem. It was a groundbreaking speech that I believe will be seen as one of the finest moments of this Presidency and in American history. The speech was resolutely supportive of Israel and yet was effective in analytically and objectively finding criticism for every party involved in the struggle. I for one was most impressed with a man who had just been in meetings for days with Israel’s PM and President and would still address an audience and indicate that settlements are disruptive to peace.

The thing is, people who generally get their news from Fox “News” did not see the event live, as they did on CNN and MSNBC. Rachel Maddow does a bit of media survey for us, you know, once she gets around to it.

Visit for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

What Maddow catalogs here is a shameful disservice on the part of Fox “News” and is a certain indicator among thousands that this is a media outlet that does not give a rat’s ass about serving its audience.

In other news:

The fellow sitting next to me at the bar told me that he wanted to have a date with his girlfriend watching “Cops” tonight, but his girlfriend said if he’s drunk, he should not bother coming over. He told me this four times. I’m betting he’s not going to get to go see “Cops” with his girlfriend tonight.


33 Meticulous Cleaning Tricks For The OCD Person Inside You


The ice cold sneezers who once had brought me to my knees were warbling outside. A gust ripped my coat, and its chill had a way of sticking to the ribs. A gull glided by with a big red berry in his beak. He was smiling. Of course he was. That was the best moment of his life.

There’s a corner three blocks down and it’s the nicest corner I’ve ever seen but it’s not enough. The spare booze store, the Subway, the exclusive club that utilizes red velvet ropes. Mortar and plaster and stardust and gold. All that is here. But it’s not enough.

Big Dongles

Trade shows can be rough, man.

I spent a large part of my, you know, “career,” expected to attend a trade show once per year at least. The thing about a trade show is that you’re always working, and yet, there’s always a little tinge of par-tay in the air. Because the food is good. And there’s always some booze handy. And, as I may have mentioned, the food is really really good.

But the point is, from the time you leave your room to the time you return to the room to nurse your feet and to shower the flop-sweat from your leg-pits, you are working. You’re either proctoring a workshop or attending one or even tidying up the registration area.

And I don’t know about you, but I have a cardinal rule about work. I’m not a prude about language in my private life (as one might assume from reading this), but when I’m at work, I do not even KNOW those words and I strive to avoid the conversational topics of sex, politics, and religion.

Having said that, I’ll tell you what, there’s a guy who apparently got fired for a really dumb reason.

Hi, I’m the guy who made a comment about big dongles. First of all I’d like to say I’m sorry. I really did not mean to offend anyone and I really do regret the comment and how it made Adria feel. She had every right to report me to staff, and I defend her position. However, there is another side to this story. While I did make a big dongle joke about a fictional piece hardware that identified as male, no sexual jokes were made about forking. My friends and I had decided forking someone’s repo is a new form of flattery (the highest form being implementation) and we were excited about one of the presenters projects; a friend said “I would fork that guys repo” The sexual context was applied by Adria, and not us.


Anyway, if you’re remotely interested in this, check the MeFi thread. If you’re not, well, I don’t blame you.

After all, the only reason I posted this was so that I could use the phrase “big dongles.”

don't beam me up scotty i'm taking a sh

In other news:

This story says a lot about us, about capitalism, and about how guys make a buck these days. Also, people, come on: LEARN COOKING.

The Extraordinary Science of Addictive Junk Food

Speaking of which:


Baghdad hit by deadly blasts on invasion anniversary

Costs of War

Lie by Lie: A Timeline of How We Got Into Iraq

What we Did to Iraq

MSNBC selectively remembers the Iraq War

The Last Letter

10 yrs ago began the long, difficult work of liberating 25 mil Iraqis. All who played a role in history deserve our respect & appreciation.

Iraq: The spies who fooled the world

The War Nerd: Who Won Iraq? Answer: Anyone Who Stayed Out

Iraq 10 Years Later: The Deadly Consequences of Spin

Think you know the facts about Iraq War? Think again.

The War Is Stupid

The Iraq War Timeline As Told Through Front Pages

What Newspapers Looked Like The Day We Invaded Iraq



Here’s how it works: Once upon a time, the government would say to business owners, yeah, that’s nice, you have a lot of gravy there. How about you take yourself a nice profit, but then with that top layer of gravy, you can either pay a nice tax or you can invest back into your business. How’s that? And so businesses chose generally to put as much of that nice gravy back into the business as they could.

Today, the government goes up to those nice people and says hey, see all that nice money you got on top there? You can either invest a bunch of it back into your business there, or you can…oh, who am I kidding? Just put it in your pocket! G’wan! It’s a free country!

And so the government can’t fix the broken public infrastructure anymore, and at the same time, the private infrastructure is going to heck as well.

That’s why.

In other news:
Seems that the 8WK has been on the air here today for 12 years. Happy blogiversary to me.

Have just overheard a group of youngsters talking about “The Twilight Zone.” You know. “That scary show from the ’80s.”