"…it’s like they’re saying, ‘Here, you throw this away.’"

Am I overly annoyable through my daily commute, at the tourists who consistently block my passage off of the train, at the escalator leftstanders and the hogs of egress, at the pedestrian meanderers, and, perhaps most troubling, at the leaflet and newspaper distributors?

They are mother birds on PCP, more than eager to jam their found pablum into you. Here’s a restaurant you should try. Here’s some stuff on newsprint you should read. Here, you throw this away (thanks, Mitch). Today there was some falun gong dude handing out pamphlets inside the Metro Center station. Well, it was either falun gong he was selling, or it was miso.

I don’t know because I have a general policy of neither accepting nor offering anything whilst I’m in transit. I’ll pick up an Express from time to time, but that’s it. I’m not giving you money or whatever the hell you just mumbled to me about, and I’m not taking your little pieces of paper.

I’m thinking of printing up a little sign and wearing it on my hat. The sign would say, “I Accept No Fliers. Thank You.” And, if these people keep being pushy about it, on the other side of the sign, it would perhaps say “Piss Off, Already. I Said No.”

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