Frank Zappa In A Funny HatI cannot help but think that the convergence of the end of the world as fortold by the Mayan calender, which is, of course, absolutely true, and the first day of Zappadan, which falls on the 21st, is no mere coincidence.

By way of quick, obligatory exposition, via the FGAQ—Welcome to Bummernacht, the first day of the Zappadan holiday, a time of remembrance and Freak-Out-Ology that lasts from Dec. 4 to Dec. 21, the day he died to the day he was born, blah blah blah:

The first (or 17th) day of Zappadan was originally known as Enttäuschung Nacht – German for ‘bummer night’ – but over the years it has been Americanized to the much simpler BummerNacht. This being the anniversary of Mister Zappa’s death, the original meaning is rather obvious, and we shall not delve further into it here.

Far from being a day of mourning, however, it is a day of great joy, for Zapptists know that a mere seventeen days later, on December 21st (Zero Day), Frank Zappa was born.

Usually, my friends, we merely count upon Zappadan miracles to buoy our spirits during this wonderful time. This time, I am convinced we are coming upon the Zappadanapocalypse*.

It may, I think, begin with some stupid with a flare gun. Or, it may begin with the efforts of a simple Eskimo, armed only with a handful of goopy yellow snow in his efforts to protect his favorite baby seal. Why, Rance Muhammitz himself may very well surface from the charred embers to serve you a beer! It shall certainly be a well-scrutinized event, and it shall be strictly commercial.

Regardless of how it starts, friends, I see no way around it. This convergence is no coincidence. There is no way to delay. Zappadanapocalypse* is coming every day.


* Note: Not quite the same as RoseanneRoseannadannapocalypse.

A quick note for Bill Tchakirides, blogger at Under the LobsterScope, where he often celebrates Zappadan with the rest of us. Bill’s blog currently documents an apparently exhausting round of brain surgery he’s undergone. Just thought I’d mention it.

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