augustotnoss 4 nineteen 47

Patrice: video calling is a pain in the ass, please tell me what works for you people?

Me: I have this old broken video camera I bought at a thrift store for $1.37. I like to set it up and put on a bedsheet as if it’s a cape and pretend I’m in a conference call with Ronald Reagan, Frank Zappa, and Stanley Burrell, who owns a pair of magical dancing shoes that are alive and can speak, and which cause him to transform into the superhero Hammerman.

We mainly discuss U.S. domestic policy, skin care, and beer, and they always agree with me. And then I go to sleep.


1) I enjoy gradiented questionnaires. ⨂ Completely Disagree; Strongly Disagree; Disagree; Neutral; Agree; Strongly Agree; Completely Agree

2) Gradiented questionnaires are annoying. Completely Disagree; Strongly Disagree; Disagree; Neutral; Agree; Strongly Agree; ⨂ Completely Agree

3) I’m about to throw my computer out the f*ing window. Completely Disagree; Strongly Disagree; Disagree; Neutral; Agree; ⨂ Strongly Agree; Completely Agree


Joan: As a result of multiple back injuries over the years, I have finally decided to leave the field of Pilates training behind. I am selling my own equipment which is in excellent condition. Here are a few pics – please share and PM if you are interested. I can also give you my personal email to pass along.

Me: Is there a convenient place on this piece of equipment to hold a cup of beer?


Dave: Okay, I am soliciting opinions. I got my hair cut today, and I am debating shaving off the beard. Should it stay or should it go, or should I just trim it?

Me: Keep it, but only on the right side of your face. This kind of style is useful in espionage.


But Seriously

Congratulations are in order for my Uncle Jay, the lad who currently gussies up my Gravatar; and his wife Jessica, for formally adopting child numero dos.



Farmer Derek Klingenberg wins the Internet today.


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