You Can Leave Your Rug On

There’s a guy in my office lobby who is probably not aware that there isa muskrat on his head. I do not know why men insist on wearing imitation hair to attempt to hide the fact that, for some reason, the creator cursed many of us with the tendency to loose our natural head covering. When I was 22 or so, I wrote a song with the curious line, “when I get older, someday, man, I hope I lose my hair/at least then, when I look in the mirror, I’ll know I’m there.” I think it’s true. Besides, I get to wear hats, and I don’t have to force other people to pretend like they can’t tell. Nobody eversquints suspiciously at a guy in a fedora and says “are you wearing a hat?”

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