Not Goin' Anywhere For Awhile?

One of my favorite things in the world is to be stuck in a big long cement tube for several dozen minutesunder the Potomac River. I LOVE that shit! There’s nothing more fun than that!

Now, let’s offer homage to a great American hero (not to be confused with the Greatest American Hero, who played the wacky evangelist dad on House recently, didja notice? Didja? Dija?): Brenda Lifsey, who is suing Kraft because Kraft put a bunch of crap into a bottle and called it “guacamole.” Just witness the “if it weren’t for my horse” moment made possible by this suit:

“We think customers understand that it isn’t made from avocado,” said Claire Regan, vice president of corporate affairs for the Northfield, Ill., based company. “All of the ingredients are listed on the label for consumers to reference.”

So, that makes it okay to call puke-green modified food starch and coconut oil “guacamole?” Shame, shame. Wish I’d bought some of this crap so I could join this (hopefully) class action suit. Get it straight, kids: Guacamole is made with real avacado and is an acquired taste at best. Morans.

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