We Are All McLovin

I got out pretty easy today. Only one co-worker wished me an appyhay irthdaybay, and that was at the end of the day. He said he hoped I had something fun planned. I said I did.

I said, I’m going to see “Superbad” again.

Oh yes, he said. I’ve heard of that movie. I may have to go see it. You said you’ve seen it already once? Yes. I am going to see it again. Previously, I saw it with my Lady Friend. Tonight, I will be going to see it with my Uncle Jay, who is moving back to Kansas next week. Oh, he said. So is that movie anything at all like “Napoleon Dynamite?” I heard some people compared it to that movie.

No, I said. In fact, let me explain this to you.

People just pretended that “Napoleon Dyanmite” was a funny movie. It actually wasn’t. Nor was it interesting or even soulful or anything. You see, what actually happened was that these five guys got together in Topeka Kansas the night it opened, and they smoked a lot of marijuana, and they went to see “Napoleon Dyanmite,” and they laughed their asses off, and then they went back home and told their little brothers about it. And the little brothers went and saw it, and they pretended it was funny so their older brothers wouldn’t think they were retards. But you see, these fellas didn’t have any weed. So it really wasn’t funny. But they had to pretend that it was. So they paid it forward, peer pressuring five of their friends into going to see the damned thing and into thinking it was funny. And they peer pressured five of their friends. And so on. And so on. And so on. Until finally you saw it, too, and you pointed at the screen and laughed and weren’t even sure why.*

Vote for Pedro. Ha-ha.

As opposed to “Superbad,” which is funny. Genuinely. This film will force you to cackle, to slam your foot to the gooey theater floor, to the point where you need to gulp for air. It is funny, foolish, raucous, gross, and flat-out hillarious, and then it goes and knocks the wind out of you by being real and good. No. “Superbad” is nothing at all like “Napoleon Dynamite.” “Superbad” is well worth your $10 and your two hours. Comparatively, “Napoleon Dynamite” probably should not have been made.

So. If you haven’t already, see “Superbad.” And, please, don’t get up the minute the credits start to roll. Sit through the credits. Really.

*Some portions of this exchange have been embellished by the writer.

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