I sat in the back of the lunch room, gnawing on a par-baked, then microwaved turkey pot pie, and even par-baking the thing cannot improve its condition from a microwave. I was eating it anyway but vowing to never put another frozen pot pie on my grocery list again.

I saw my co-worker enter.

I am certain this man was born crusty, balding, and old, rather than growing into it like the rest of us.

I watched him stare at the television set that is suspended in the ceiling’s corner and that is always on for some reason.

That is one aspect of the culture that is not often observed, the television sets that are always on. At the bar where I lunch, at the restaurant where I dine, at the workplace, at my bank, at my car mechanic, where I pump my gas, there is the TV that is always on. I walked into a favorite restaurant last weekend and noticed somewhat brightly that they did not have a TV that is always on, and it made me appreciate their delicious hummus plate even more.

My co-worker stood underneath the TV that is always on in the lunch break room where I work, one of two TV sets that are always on in that large orange room, and he had one hand on one hip and stared at the TV that is always on, kind of quizzically. We were the only two people in the room, and I don’t think he had even noticed I was present from my little hideout.

I had finished with my pot pie by this time and was just killing time until I got to return to work to MAKE A REAL DIFFERENCE

so I started cheering him on

go on

do it

change the channel

Well. I must be a magical being. Because my colleague took his fist off of his side and drew up a chair, and placed the chair underneath the television, then bravely stood up on the chair. He began to adjust the channels.

I decided to see if I could affect his choice even further with my newly discovered mind power suggestion voodoo.

FOX NEWS. I said. Put it on FOX NEWS.

I begin my Jedi training tomorrow.