I am rocking an iPhone 5. 

Not an iPhone 5S. An iPhone 5. All good Apple dorks know what that means. 

It means I am one consonant away from eligibility for updates. It means my iPhone will be on OS 10.3.3 FOREVER. It means my iPhone is no longer supported by Apple. And while Apple was nice enough to include support for its Airpods with my ancient phone, an iPhone 5 will not support an Apple Watch. (That support also requires support for at least iOS 11, only available on 5S or higher). 

So I was excited last year with the introduction of the iPhone X, but I was nonplussed by the price point. And so I instead had the battery replaced, which fixed the real issue I was facing with the phone, that the battery was draining every 15 minutes. After that, the phone was fine. 

So I watched the rollout in September with interest and was glad to see the iPhone XR address the price point. But I still don’t think I’m budging, not  until this phone tells me it just plain won’t let me look at Facebook any longer. 

Why am I hesitant? Because. Much of my motivation of wanting the upgrade is the Apple Watch. Except this one thing: I don’t like Siri. 

Or, perhaps, it’s that I’m just used to another digital assistant, known as Alexa. These gizmos I have all over the place. I am used to that voice, the smooth delivery, the natural-seeming personality. Compared to it, Siri’s is just plain jarring. 

Maybe it’s just the form factor I’m used to. But I think the assistant I prefer is and probably always will be Alexa. I am already signed up for the in-auto version of the gizmo (you have to sign up to be invited just to buy the friggin’ thing). 

So. If they can put Alexa in my car soon, when are they going to put her on my wrist? 

This is vital. Because, I assume, if you’re using a watch, you will be using the personal assistant much more often. 

God schmod, I want my Alexa Watch.