Many years ago, I stole a Dave Barry joke and left it as my outgoing message on my answering machine. The joke was:

“Hi. You have reached [phone number]. If you’d like to press “1,” press “1.” If you’d like to press “2,” press “2.”

And so on.

This really annoyed one caller of mine. I edited this a little at the time for effect. But this was the crux of the biscuit:

I am still sad that I will never know what the important message was.