The Voice > Idol

Of all the godamm things I feel compelled to come back to my blog to write about and it’s NBC’s The Voice. Am I that shallow?

Okay. So I am. Whatever.

I have just gotten done watching this television program for the first time, having just watched episodes one and two of season two on-demand. I have, in previous seasons, been known to watch the Idol. And friends, I’m here to tell you: The Voice is Idol’s smarter, better, faster cousin.

Let’s face it: Idol is a disorganized mess. There are judges, and the judges and their drama eclipses the show. Then sometimes these “coaches” come in and offer some idiotic platitudes about singing from your diaphragm and crap, and then there’s the Idol Cares segment, which is when you get up from your chair and go off to drop a load or have a sandwich or something. It’s a mess. I’d say it’s a Jackson Pollock painting, but even Pollock watches Idol from the grave and he’s all like “What a fucking mess! What the hell is that supposed to be?”

The Voice, however, was designed with nifty, contoured edges. The “judges” ARE coaches, looking to build a team for competition. They sit in big red barber chairs facing away from the performer, so they have only the voice to help them choose. If they are for the performer, they bop a button and the big chair turns around so they can see said performer. If more than one coach selects a performer, then the performer must choose what team to be on, and the coaches can argue their case.

These are the television producers you want on your team, people. It is clear that these geniuses of media designed this show utilizing a flow chart, unlike those who designed the Idol, which was clearly created by throwing balogna at one another’s bare asses.

And. Not only is this program’s planning and execution terrific. But at the start of episode #2, the coaches, who are Christina Aguilera (have I mentioned that, secretly, I am a fan?), CeeeLo (formerly of Goodie Mob and currently of whatever the heck he wants), Adam Levine of Maroon 5 (whose band turned in a killer performance live and early in the morning on The Howard Stern Show) and some country guy, performed a medley of music by this guy called Prince.

This performance could have easily sucked. But it did not suck. Because, clearly, someone who actually knows and loves the Purple Guy’s music put the thing together. I mean, if you’re doing a Prince medley and you include “I Wanna Be Your Lover,” you’re a fan. Only a cover of “She’s Always In My Hair” or “Let’s Pretend We’re Married” would have further knocked off my socks. I’m not sure what purpose this performance played, but it did not suck, as well it could have.

As I said, I have watched the Idol show there previously, and I couldn’t help but to feel drowned in its own pomposity. The Voice is a much better alternative if you insist on watching one of these silly televised talent programs. Which, apparently, I do.

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