I think the most astonishing thing about 2018 was that Childish Gambino dropped “This Is America” all the way back in May, and not much changed. I found that work to be so astonishing, so direct, so urgent that I half expected it to plunge a sword into the planet and cause a massive ripple of awareness planet-wide. But instead it dried up and blew away just like the Charles Atlas bully said, just like everything does.

It is 2019 now for 26 minutes, and I am watching the entertainment on the ABC. The first music I heard in 2019 was a live performance by somebody named Post Malone. There was no band, not even a group of stand-ins pretending to be a band, just him, just this guy saying these things into a microphone as if he’s singing. Now this other chick is on the TV lip-syncing something into a microphone. And the weird part to me is that all the kids in the audience know all the words to all of these songs, and they’re singing along like she’s singing “Free Bird.” Okay wait, I figured it out. The one on my TV right now is somebody named Camila Cabello, and she is singing her new hit single, “I’ll Never Be The Same.”

I sure am glad I don’t have to like that shitty music. There’s enough good music that I don’t have to know all the words to Post Malone songs and Camila Cabello songs.

Well, nothing to do but toast with a shot of Jager and go to sleep. I gotta work tomorrow. Yes, that’s right. I’m one of the suckers working New Year’s Day. Woot.

He’s Such A Charmer Oh No