There’s Been a Burnley

I didn’t mean to start yelling at people this morning. It just happened. I’ve been trying to be downright spoony about the fact that half of my apartment hasn’t had power since Saturday evening.

But there is massive renovation going on in my building. So I got out of bed early (10 a.m. is damned early for me) to inquire about the progress of restoring my power, and I came down to the eerily dark and ripped up lobby to find that the front office was closed, or rather, it had moved, and the location to where it had moved had a big ladder blocking it with a fella on top of the ladder changing light blubs. The girl was on the phone, rifling through papers, her eyes down, and there were two glass doors between me and the titular person in charge.

This would be my third inquiry since Monday morning, so yes, “what the f is this” were the words that found life from my mouth.

“It’s from me,” said the fella on top of the ladder. “What’s going on?”

“I haven’t had power in my apartment for since Saturday, that’s what!”

My voice’s tone convinced me that I probably should have had breakfast before engaging in this encounter. But I was more pissed about perceiving that I was being ignored than I was about the power.

The girl fought her way to the previous office entrance and placated me well. She said she’d the fellas right up. I decided to get out of their hair, so I threw on some clothes and went across the street for some coffee and a muffin. I discovered that I make better coffee and better pastry than this joint, but it was pleasant to have found a table to sit outside, to take in the beautiful day, and to enjoy reading the local paper.

I was about wrapping up breakfast when a little robin landed on my table. He looked at me then hopped over to my muffin. He grabbed a crumb of it and headed off. The young ladies at the next table who were writing on staff paper noticed and laughed. “I’ve been burgled!” I exclaimed.

They still don’t know what’s wrong with my power, and, in fact, they may have to rewire the whole damned thing.

But I did learn one thing this morning: The birds are certainly brave this year.

UPDATE: Yay! They fixed it!


In case you were curious: There’s Been a Burnley. (According to sketch transcripts online, the inspector in this sketch is named “Muffin.”)


And now, for something completely different.

If you’ve ever watched Star Trek: TNG, you’ve seen this just like half your life you looked at the Federal Express logo and never saw the arrow. Well, friends, get ready. Because once you see this, the next time you watch TNG, THIS is ALL you will see.

I present: Riker Sits Down.

I was even inspired to write a haiku:

Riker mounts his chair
Like he is straddling mountains.
Engage, Number One.

Make it so.

And now, Six Million Dollar Man Style:


Finally, here’s an interesting perspective I came across: Josiah Bartlet Was A Mediocre President. Read the article, but don’t miss the comments.

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