The Perfect Pair of Gloves

I was rooting around in my closet yesterday looking for my gloves, and I was reminded of a momentous discovery. Some designer with more R&D resources than I have should be paying attention. I’m about to make you.

I have two pairs of gloves. One is a pair of wool fingerless gloves, blue. The other pair is a pair of regular ol’ fingered gloves. (Huh-huh. Huh. He said the gloves were fingered.)

So a few years ago, I lost one of the one pair and one of the other, so I just started wearing them that way, with the fingerless glove on my right hand and the other on my left.

It may have taken me two weeks, but eventually I realized that this was the PERFECT PAIR OF GLOVES.

I mean, you wear fingerless gloves to afford you more dexterity while giving some, albeit compromised, protection from the cold. Gloves with fingers are better at insulating, of course, but just try to get your keys out of your pocket while you’re wearing them.

My unmatched set provides dexterity to the hand I’m more likely to need but total insulation for the other. I’m probably going to put one hand in pocket while walking down the street anyway.

Besides. You’ve got another pair just like them at home. (Well. Kinda.)

If I were a designer, I’d find a way to create this idea into a clothing line. Seems like the next best thing to me, save for my world-famous iPhone lanyard case (which I’m also amazed hasn’t caught on yet).

“Had Joe Lieberman not changed his vote at the last minute, we would have a public option in [the Affordable Care Act]. And if we had a public option in this bill, we’d probably still control the Senate.” (Howard Dean)

Dean is right. A public option at the very least would have made the ACA much more accessible and effective. It also would have been easier to sell and more difficult to obfuscate.

My favorite is when he refers to the ACA as “this Rube Goldberg thing.”


And, by the way, directing federal agencies is well within the powers of the President; always has been. This is that whole “he shall take care that the laws be faithfully executed” thing. And yet, the Post reports that these numb-nuts have been talking lawsuit, or government shutdown. Unreal.

Hoo, boy.

“There are many meritorious situations where the argument could be made for a waiver, including Congresswoman Duckworth’s. The question is, how do you choose?” (Rep. Rosa DeLauro’s spokesperson quoted by the National Journal)

I’ll tell you how. When it’s Tammy F**ing Duckworth, you morons.

SMH at Democrats.

Good Poop

This Just In: HUD Secretary Nominee Loretta Lynn Once Got Jimmy Carter Out Of A Jaywalking Fine

When I went to journalism school, the first class I took was News Writing. This is where you learn to write for newspapers. It was one of the best courses I had in college because it was there that I realized how specifically mathematical correctly formed sentences actually are.

The second class I took was called Reporting Practices. And the first lesson on day one of Reporting Practices was about how to correctly identify a person when you write about him in the newspaper. On first reference, you are supposed to use the first name, middle initial, and last name. The reason that you are supposed to do this is because if David A. Jones is convicted of manslaughter and his neighbor David O. Jones is not, but you just print that David Jones was convicted of manslaughter, then David O. Jones’ friends and family are going to furrow their brows at him and soon David O. Jones will be irate and in your newspaper office receiving room, perhaps accompanied by an attorney, or at least threatening to cancel his long-time subscription.

I have always thought this is why particularly notorious figures are named including their full middle names. However, as Slate points out, that’s not always the reason.

That is how basic and essential it is to correctly identify people in journalism. It is the very first lesson you are taught. Day one. Get this right or don’t bother.

So Brietbart “News” ran with a story that said that President Obama’s pick for attorney general, Loretta Lynch, had represented the Clintons during the Whitewater nonsense.

However, there’s a bit of a problem: It was the wrong Loretta Lynch.

Fortunately, Breitbart “News” immediately saw the error and acted quickly and with integrity, pulling the entire story off of their Web site and issuing an urgent and somewhat bashful correction.

Just kidding. They left the story up even though its entire premise was incorrect, put the word “correction” in the headline in parenthesis, and inserted this line above the “reporter’s” credit: “Correction: The Loretta Lynch identified earlier as the Whitewater attorney was, in fact, a different attorney.”

Some people actually develop their opinions and base their votes on this crap. Isn’t that somethin’?

(Media Matters first brought this to the world’s attention.)

In Other News
Romeo and Juliet Has No Balcony (The Atlantic)
“Not only was there no balcony in Romeo and Juliet, there was no balcony in all of Shakespeare’s England.”

bert_mind_blown and Election Blow-Out

For years, one of the best Web sites in the known universe was

When you visted the site, you were presented with the Sesame Street sketch where the Yip Yips encounter a com-pyoo-ter.

I am sad to report that the genius who posted this wonderful Web site has for whatever reason seen fit to sell this enviable domain name. Now it takes you any number of cable/Internet providers.

The Internet is just not the same without the single-serving site known as

I haz a sad.

Of course, the elections were a disaster. I tried to tell ya so. Or, rather, Harry Truman did. When you have a Democratic candidate refusing to answer whether or not they voted for the Party leader, that candidate ain’t gonna win anything.

Stop crunching numbers, you big dummies, and be friggin’ Democrats.

See, Thomas Franks is down with me: ‘The president is basically in hiding': Thomas Frank unloads on Dems, Kansas and crushing midterm losses

Perennial favorite Thom Hartmann has a pretty good grasp of the situation, too.

Piehole Should Be Quiet

This is my new favorite thing. I mean like ever.

Blah blah blah blah blah blah…

(Original video is at Liveleak.)

Yeah, I voted. Like a boss.

I come from nowhere, and you should go there. Just try it for a while. The people from nowhere always smile. Their eyes are all frozen over. The sides of their faces pooch out at the corners because that’s what happens when their mouths turn up on both sides, which is why we can tell they’re smiling. They never frown. They never let their eyebrows turn down. They like going around with their teeth showing all the time. They are from nowhere. Your teeth are showing, so maybe you been there! You could have the disease of nowhere people, where the air gets stuck all over their gums—when their nowhere lips roll back. For real excitement, they stand still. They shut up. Then they don’t do nothing out there in nowhere!

“I’ve seen it happen time after time. When the Democratic candidate allows himself to be put on the defensive and starts apologizing for the New Deal and the Fair Deal, and says he really doesn’t believe in them, he is sure to lose. The people don’t want a phony Democrat. If it’s a choice between a genuine Republican, and a Republican in Democratic clothing, the people will choose the genuine article, every time; that is, they will take a Republican before they will a phony Democrat, and I don’t want any phony Democratic candidates in this campaign.

“But when a Democratic candidate goes out and explains what the New Deal and Fair Deal really are — when he stands up like a man and puts the issues before the people — then Democrats can win, even in places where they have never won before. It has been proven time and again.”(Harry Truman)

Even Witches Have to Have Pockets

Just in time for Halloween: Mr. Rogers interviews the Wicked Witch of the West.

Why I don’t own a printer, and B) why even those who do own a printer need a backup plan, including a reliable thumb drive containing no executable files and familiarity with a local office store.

Why I Believe Printers Were Sent From Hell to Make Us Miserable (The Oatmeal)

To Juicer or Not To Juicer

My Mom e-mailed after reading the previous entry and after posting that I had inspired her to get the blender out of mothballs. She asked:

I was wondering – is a juicer machine better than a blender for making the concoctions?
I’ve known some folks who were crazy for their juicer machines. Magical powers
and all that.

Believe me, I’ve done the research. My conclusion is that blending is the better option.

Juicing proponents claim that juicing will inject micro-nutrients into your body more quickly. However, the other thing it puts into your system more quickly is sugar, and without the benefit of accompanying fiber. I can’t figure that’d be good. Besides, to really do juicing, you need a pretty high-end gadget because you don’t want a centrifugal juicer because they oxidize the food, which affects nutritive content, so you need to buy a masticating juicer, which are more expensive. And they only do one thing (though some models do claim they can make nut butter, to which I ask, who is making nut butter?). And what do you do with all the pulp? I no longer have access to a massive composting system, so out with the trash would go all that good organic material.

No, I’m down with smoothies.

Now. Here are some nice videos from Stated Clearly:

What is the Evidence for Evolution?

Does the Theory of Evolution Really Matter?

Can Science Explain the Origin of Life?

Once again, OK Go lets your inner marching band nerd run amok.

How’d they do that, you wonder? With a DRONE. That’s right.

What’d I mean by “once again?” Dis. Only my very favorite thing on the Internet, ever:

More Songs About Buildings and Food

I noted with some interest recently a news story regarding the profit margin of a certain global conglomerate. In short: McDonald’s Profits Plunge 30 Percent. I mused: “Jeez. I only stopped eating there like a few weeks ago. I had no idea I was contributing so much.”

I was a rather regular customer, and I hate to admit this. It was an issue I think of time, or at least that was my justification, though I think perhaps it was more a matter of habit. Suffice it to say that, for a while there, at least a few times a week, the first nutritional effort of my day was a small fry, double cheeseburger, and small coke from McDonald’s.

I decided that had to change as I found myself feeling rather tired a lot.

Sluggish, I was, and chronically so. Difficult to leave my futon in the morning. Feeling like sleeping at my desk. Tired, and not just tired like drat, I tossed and turned last night. Tired. All. The. Time. I decided it was time to once again reference The Book.

The Book: SuperFoods—Fourteen Foods That Will Change Your Life. I have a well-worn copy I’ve had since I discovered it in my 20s, and the last time in my life I felt truly great was partly in part to my interest in this fine book. I knew it was time to once again return full-blast to its sage advice.

The advice: Eat more beans, blueberries, broccoli, oats, oranges, pumpkin, wild salmon, soy, spinach, tea, tomatoes, turkey, walnuts, and yogurt. Or at least these or foods that the book groups with these foods into “families.” For instance, the “pumpkin” family includes carrots, butternut squash, sweet potatoes, and orange bell pepper.

I started by giving the blender permanent residency on my counter. Rather than fries these days, the first thing I enjoy in the morning is a smoothie. Today’s, for example, included pineapple, cucumber, an orange, a (frozen) banana, a bit of fresh lemon juice, some ogret, and a handful of baby spinach. I generally have enough to enjoy some at the time and an extra serving to pack for later.

The smoothie regimen does more than just give an easy way to front-load my day with the good stuff. It also helps me logistically fill my crisper drawers. As a perpetual bachelor, it’s difficult otherwise to justify mass quantities of fruits and vegetables without an efficient way to create a dish that uses bunches and bunches of the stuff. Because I’m using more fruits and veggies in smoothies, I am able to keep more of those items in stock and not worry that it will go to the bad before I use it. So, I’m more inclined as well than before to include a spinach salad in my day’s intake.

A few other examples of strategies to keep me on this path:

I also use the technique known as “overnight oats” to get some more whole grains into my piehole. One scoop of ogret. One scoop of oats. Into an eight-ounce jar for a few hours, and you have a fine way to get your oat-y goodness. I do recommend keeping this simple, however; I was throwing blueberries in before, and that can get not so nice if it’s kept for more than a day or two. Simple. Vanilla ogret. Oats. That’s it.

And, I would not be anywhere on this new regimen without a chain restaurant establishment known as the Pita Pit. My standard order there is a small tuna salad with spinach, red pepper, black beans, and tomatoes, with a little shot of dressing or sauce (the sweet onion sauce is delicious). I find the pita sandwiches to be just too bready, and I do not trust that the “wheat” pita is actually whole wheat. The salad is quite generous itself, however, so the bread is not needed.

Also for the quick shot of protein a person needs sometimes: Bean & Cheese Burrito from Amy’s. These things are a basic protein at a nice service size and heat up in the micro-wave nicely.

G’ahead, ask: Have I noticed a difference?

Think I’d be blogging about if I hadn’t?

My energy levels started feeling more normal in a week. I also noticed other differences, but the main was that I was not feeling sluggish. And, I may be imagining it, but in the three weeks since, the trousers feel like there is a little more wiggle room. I also note a better mood generally. I just feel better. Imagine that. All I did was start eating more dark-colored fruits and vegetables, and I feel on the whole much better.

I wanted to share this here because you never know who might read it and go hey, maybe I could do with a bit more in the leafy green category nowadays. The rewards can be tremendous.

::Sipping beet juice::

More food talk: I am these days addicted to a television program called “Gilmore girls” and so it is likely that those joining our table on Thanksgiving will in addition to the usual sides will get to try a helping of “Jonny Machete.”

Also, I think this would be a nice model for the stuffing (‘dressing,” actually, since we don’t usually put the stuff in the bird).