BJP Jukey A

20 Minute Loop – Face Like A Horse.mp3

ACDC – Dirty Deeds.mp3

Agent 99 – Get A Grip

Alabama Thunder Pussy – Falling Behind

Alabama Thunder Pussy – Spineless

Alkaline Trio – Southern Rock

Allstonians – Another Night

Allstonians – Falling.mp3

Allstonians – Feeling Fine.mp3

Allstonians – Goodnight Daniel.mp3

Allstonians – Hijack.mp3

Allstonians – Jackson Mann.mp3

Allstonians – Jerry Lewis.mp3

Allstonians – Jr. G-Man.mp3

Allstonians – Let Go the Anger.mp3

Allstonians – Mariachi Go Ska

Allstonians – Nickel.mp3

ATP – Rockin Is Ma Business.mp3

Cibo Matto – Birthday Cake.mp3

Cure – 1015 Saturday Night.mp3

Cure – Why Can’t I Be You.mp3

Dance Hall Crashers – All Mine.mp3

Dr. Ring Ding – Little One.mp3

Dr. Ring Ding – Sound Unity.mp3

Dr. Ring Ding – Turn It Down.mp3

Drowning Pool – Bodies.mp3

Epitones – Hob Nobbin.mp3

Epitones – Aquaman.mp3

Epitones – BlipBlip.mp3

Epitones – Blood Red Sky.mp3

Epitones – Boyo.mp3

Epitones – Coffee Connection.mp3

Epitones – Frog Spirit.mp3

Epitones – Lucy.mp3

Epitones – Phobus.mp3

Epitones – Texas Size.mp3

Epitones – Tsa Tsa Ta.mp3

Epitones – Wildfire.mp3

Geggy Tah – Whoever You Are.mp3

Hobex – Say Yeah!.mp3

Homer Simpsons – Letter.mp3

Johnny Socko – Vasectomy.mp3

Johnny Socko – When The Bough Breaks.mp3

Just Like Heaven (dizzy mix).mp3

Men At Work – Be Good Johnny.mp3

Mr Dibbs – Captain Splatterpatty.mp3

New Order – True Faith.mp3

Pietasters – Chain Reaction.mp3

Pietasters – Yesterday’s Over.mp3

Prodigy – Funky Shit.mp3

Rage Against The Machine – Bulls On Parade.mp3

Rage Against The Machine – Guerrilla Radio.mp3

Rage Against The Machine – People Of The Sun.mp3

Rage Against The Machine – Sleep Now In The Fire.mp3

Rancid – Hooligans.mp3

Rancid – Old Friend.mp3

Selecter – On My Radio.mp3

Sexsmith, Ron – Parable.mp3

Sexsmith, Ron – This Song.mp3

Simpsons – Flintstones.mp3

Simpsons – Jebus.mp3

Skatalites – El Pussycat.mp3

Skatalites – Phoenix City.mp3

Skatalites – Right Now.mp3

Skatalites – S’Kool.mp3

Skatalites – Shot in the Dark.mp3

Skatalites – Skalloween.mp3

Skatalites – Skamania.mp3

Skatalites – Split Personality.mp3

Skatalites – Trip To Mars.mp3

snbitch.wav

Squatweiler – Colorado.mp3

Squatweiler – John Henry.mp3

Squatweiler – Made Naked.mp3

Squatweiler – Pride Of Nazareth.mp3

Squatweiler – Visionary.mp3

Steady Earnest – Promises.mp3

Stone Temple Pilots – Vasoline.mp3

thebomb.wav

Tipsy – Papaya Freeway.mp3

TMBG – Ana Ng.mp3

TMBG – Birdhouse In Your Soul.mp3

TMBG – Cage & Aquarium.mp3

TMBG – Cowtown.mp3

TMBG – Drinking.mp3

TMBG – I Hope That I Get Old Before I Die.mp3

TMBG – I’ve Got A Match.mp3

TMBG – Kiss Me Son Of God.mp3

TMBG – Lie Still, Little Bottle.mp3

TMBG – Mr. Me.mp3

TMBG – Nothing’s Gonna Change My Clothes.mp3

TMBG – Particle Man.mp3

TMBG – Pencil Rain.mp3

TMBG – Piece Of Dirt.mp3

TMBG – Purple Toupee.mp3

TMBG – Shoehorn With Teeth.mp3

TMBG – Someone Keeps Moving My Chair.mp3

TMBG – The World’s Address.mp3

TMBG – We Want a Rock.mp3

TMBG – Where Your Eyes Don’t Go.mp3

TMBG – Yeh Yeh.mp3

Toasters – Get Smart.mp3

The Paper Towel Caper

I laugh out loud at those Staples commercials where the company has, as a cost-cutting measure, only managed to invest in one pen. I laugh because it’s not so damned far-off from some of the things that I’ve seen.

I worked for a guy who one day became incredibly concerned that his employees were going through too many paper towels. For three days straight, this industry mover and shaker came out to the office and started interrogating our receptionist about the paper towels.

“Well, do you think the cleaning staff is using them for cleaning?”
“I don’t know, Mr. Belding*.”
(frustrated pause)
“I swear, I just can’t figure out where all our paper towels are going to!”

His eventual solution to the problem was to stop providing paper towels in the bathroom. This lasted for a few days. Hopefully, somebody eventually explained to him that, if you discourage people from washing their hands, you are actually creating a health issue in your office. I haven’t reviewed the regulations, but I’m sure that OSHA would have had something to say about it.

This is why I insist that capitalism is a wonderful system but has a fatal flaw. My boss was spending more time squinting at his bottom line than he was realizing how ridiculous his nickel-and-diming was. This was a cat who spent thousands and thousands of dollars every week on newsprint, and the cat was bent out of shape about paper towel use in the office. I think this is where one could appropriately use the word “Dayum.”

So don’t go thinking that these Staples commercials are far off. They aren’t.

*Mr. Kirkland’s name has been changed in this example to “Mr. Belding” to protect his anonymity.

Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch…

I’m your only friend. I’m not your only friend, but I’m a little glowing friend, but really, I’m not actually your friend, but I am…

Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch who watches over you…make a little birdhouse in your soul.

I have a secret to tell from my electrical well. It’s a simple message, and I’m leaving out the whistles and bells. So, the room must listen to me—filibuster vigilantly. My name is blue canary, one note, spelled l – i – t – e. My story’s infinite! Like the Longines Symphonette, it doesn’t rest!

There’s a picture opposite me of my primitive ancestry which stood on rocky shores and kept the beaches shipwreck-free. Though I respect that a lot, I’d be fired if that were my job, after killing Jason off and countless screaming Argonauts. Bluebird of friendliness, like guardian angels, it’s always near.

While you’re at it, keep the nightlight on inside the birdhouse in your soul.

Razzies

I see the Razzies nominees have been announced. ::sarcastic sigh:: Some of my favorite pictures have been nominated for Worst Pic. 3,000 Miles to Graceland, for instance, which is my favorite film of 2001 that I did not actually see, a movie which starred so many that I’m surprised I wasn’t in it…Freddy Got Fingered, which is the film of 2001 that I most regret renting…Driven? And, finally, look!! They picked “Glitter!”